This is a story about a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD in her mid 20’s and through prayer, God’s Word, and His mercy for a slow learner, she overcame the stigma that comes with ADHD. This is my story.
I believe it will help if you know a little bit of the back ground before my diagnosis. I was diagnosed in my mid 20’s because my family and I had NO IDEA that I had ADHD. We only knew what it looked like in my brother, we couldn’t have known it could look different or manifest itself differently in different people.
School was tough if I didn’t like a subject. I struggled through many of my classes. But, I did graduate. Once I did, life was just that much harder. Not being able to concentrate, too many thoughts constantly flooding my brain. *to this day, my brain very rarely rests, but I digress*. This way of life continued, until one day, when I was filling out the paperwork to have my son tested; I found myself able to answer yes for MANY of the questions. So, in 2006 both my son and I were diagnosed with ADHD we took the next step that comes with ADHD, we both started taking medication. We did this on and off for 12 years.
Which brings us back to present day, where this story, my story, takes an amazing turn. Toward the later months of 2017, I was attending a small group at church on Spiritual Warfare; that helped set me free and overcome ADHD. I learned about things like curses; generational and self inflicted. I learned about demonic strongholds. Most importantly though, I learned how to break both curses and strongholds. This is where I started; we were reading a book by Derek Prince called Blessing and Curses; it takes you through the steps to break curses and pull down strongholds; and over time that is exactly what I did. Through the blood of Jesus and His mighty name, I broke the generational curse of ADHD. I tore down the strongholds that came along with it, like allowing the spirit of deception to tell me that I was worthless, because I couldn’t even do something as simple as keeping my kitchen clean.
Now, I had a routine: I woke up, made my coffee, took my pill, and started praying. Many times praying for God’s help that day in concentrating on what I needed to get done and not getting distracted. Believe it or not, no matter how much I prayed, I still could not get motivated to clean the kitchen or any of the other things that a “good home maker” does. What was wrong with me? I found myself asking that question a lot. What is wrong with me, why can’t I make myself do this or do that? I see other people and they don’t struggle like this, what is wrong with me? I was doing everything I knew to do, and nothing was changing.
*Ok, I’m going to go down a bunny trail real quick. Here I was, taking my pills, praying for God to heal me of this affliction, because after all the bible says that He’s a healing God; I wanted to do the right things, I was trying to do the right things. It consumed me, really. But, all I felt, was that I wasn’t measuring up. Nothing I did seemed to work.*
Now back to my regular path. While I was praying one day, again for healing, I heard God tell me, “Daughter, there is nothing to heal. I made you this way for a purpose.” Several times while praying he said this to me. This went on for a week or two, (did I mention sometimes I’m a slow learner?) Then, one of the last times, He explained it a little better and my thoughts started to finally fall into place; He said, ” There is nothing to heal, you just have to renew your mind, and think about it differently.”
* You see, the reason I couldn’t measure up, the reason I always felt like I was failing, the reason I thought I was never good enough, is because essentially I couldn’t measure up, I was failing and it was never good enough. I was trying to fit into someone else’s expectations of what they thought I should be; and in the renewing of my mind, God told me, you can’t fit into the box they are trying to put you in, because that’s not the box I made for you*
As I said earlier, I was still taking my meds this entire time. Now, once I grabbed onto the concept that I didn’t need to be healed, that is where the medication now came into question; along with a specific scripture, that I’ll get to in a minute. So, God has now renewed my mind, and I’m thinking differently about this, now I’m not praying about healing, now I’m praying for His help. But every morning when I took that pill, I heard His voice say, “You keep asking me for hep, but, you’re not really trusting me to help you.” Then, on January 13, 2018, as I swallowed my pill that morning, I heard God say, “What are you doing? You are putting your trust in the pill instead of putting your trust in me.” So, I made a decision that the following morning I was done. I was going to stop trusting in the meds and start trusting in God’s power in my life. As of January 14th, 2018, I have been off my medication and God has been faithful; my brain does not feel scattered. I no longer feel like I’m being forced into a box that I can’t possibly fit into. The atmosphere around me has completely changed.
I mentioned a scripture earlier, and my go to scripture for this affliction is 2 Timothy 1:7, God did not give you a spirit of fear and timidity, but one of power, love and a sound mind (emphasis added).
Here is what God revealed to me in my searching:
1) You were made exactly this way for a purpose. God made your brain, exactly the way He wants it. It’s how you will fulfill His plans for you life.
2) You cannot fit into ANYONE else’s expectations for you; not even your own. You can only fit into God’s expectations for you.
3) ALL ADHD medication is altering your mind, because that is it’s purpose. (Disclaimer: I am in no way saying to stop taking them. What I am saying is, if your are looking to be healed of ADHD, it is IMPERITIVE that you open up dialogue with God about the way HE made you. You are HIS creation, HE will now better than anyone what you should do.)
4) God is faithful! The bible says, that if you seek, you will find. He will reveal to you ALL you need to know in order to understand. Just don’t give up! Persevere!